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Nostalgia, Wipe These Tears Away

by Wakeful State

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ofuckinghio
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ofuckinghio this shit hits so hard. My favorite is tied between This Reckless Life and Curtain Call Favorite track: Curtain Call.
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1.
Whatever I Do, It's Never Enough 03:08
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And we sat in that brightly lit room And talked until I had to leave I spent the first few months with my back to you But now I could see your face And it was beautiful And you sat across from me With your arms wrapped around your legs And a gentle smile caressing your face And it was bright And I could see all of you And your hair tumbled down your head Past your neck Resting behind your shoulders And that small blood vessel from childhood Left a speckle under your right eye Your soft youthful skin reflected light from the outside I watched it carve itself down your neck and across your shirt Your sometimes blue, sometimes green eyes Danced around in little movements Looking at the table Your head turned You looked at me Our eyes connected For a second And I felt that this time would be different Different from before
2.
This Reckless Life 02:50
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Wasting away as I see the distant light fade And I've got nothing left now but to ask you, "Why did you go outside? You see my room is empty and you're still here!" My consciousness left my body tonight To wait in a heavenly lobby so I Am almost certain now that I am Wearing all your clothes! I'll try to avoid the unsuitable attraction Oh, I know this is another fleeting feeling of ecstasy— I mean I'm not that strong and I'm in too deep! Been running around this city too long Forgot about God on my daily walks I'm banging my head against these four walls— Metaphorically! I don't know (x14) I want to believe these diversions will fulfill me The thoughts now race inside my head We stay up late and we close by morning I am relearning to connect to you My foolishness here is reaching new heights A roundabout way of saying I might Give up for you what I know is right What a heresy! I don't know (x24) Keep checking my phone as if that would solve the problem!
3.
Forfeit 05:40
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No, we don't sleep at night No, we just anchor here until we die That tired glance you steal A feeling so unmatched it can't be real You fall across the edge Trying to find a place to rest your head And then we're all alone That's when you realize I'm always shy My head and my heart are far away You speak but I can't hear what you say A quiet book to read A recollection depth I cannot reach Your humble beauties shine You orbit eyes that happen to be mine My head and my heart are far away You speak but I can't hear what you say You head for my heart, I'm far away You speak of ease but I will stay
4.
I Can Let You Go 02:06
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5.
Curtain Call 03:37
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Rack and pinion, your rotation brings me forth A whispered purpose nearly birthed Stain the lips of Mother Earth It's your opinion that will make my troubles worse Teaching me to write a verse Stain the lips of Mother Earth In the silence...in the silence I befriend Aesthetic worldly coverings Pulled away, brought back again (x4) Pulled away I recall a time but it was novel to me then A cloudy first impression A mountain top that we would blend A vinyl record we watch spin I want to justify the things I've been taught to believe Tame the turbulence in me Forgetfulness turned into glee Pulled away, brought back again It's not your courage to tell me what I am not My cowardice an aching spot Dangled keys and tangled knots (x4) Dangled keys I recall a time but it was novel to me then A cloudy first impression A mountain top that we would blend A vinyl record we watch spin I want to justify the things I no longer believe Let the turbulence in me Shape my sorrow into glee Pulled away, brought back again (x5)
6.
Is Bliss 02:28
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It's all the same, my joy my pain I find I've changed, social decay Late nights haunt me, can't get to sleep Remain unfazed, I've been erased again A flash of faith has been replaced A lens to see reflected dreams These walls won't hold, thoughts I've been told Will you help me back to my feet Again (x16) And I'll go where you go, I want to know (what is true) I went too far, tell me who you are (supposed to be) Mic stands, stage lights, mosh pits, fist fights (all night long) I heard one man can forgive my sins
7.
I Can't Let You Go 03:01
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8.
Revolving Around You 04:23
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I am real Languages I cannot speak Speak a word to you When I am rotting in my room I find it hard to stay awake and Dedicate my apathetic mind Rest my soul I am reaching out I know I know it's getting harder To keep breathing underwater For the first time my own daughter Knows me better than I know myself I wake up too tired to ever go back to your house Struggling to be there 'cause I don't know anybody Rebel heart My own willpower won't do Do you know the way? I try to find it everyday But lousy thoughts pull me away I want to trees to know my name! God of Job Will you meet me where I am? Ample time was given For you to have earned a living You are bleeding out the back of your head I swear I might as well be dead! I wake up too tired to ever go back to your house Struggling to be there 'cause I don't know anybody I told you I was sorry... In this lifetime I will need you And then I'll walk away and wonder why the hell you didn't come through You didn't come through...
9.
There Is a Light 02:59
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It is unclear Whether I'm stuck in here I want to understand my fear I'll stare at you year after year It was not so I was not letting go I didn't think that you would know You are my friend, you are my foe Life is a fit The sky was barely lit by lamp posts Do not speak of it I'll bury myself in a pit I'm only one The deed was almost done But now I've become like the Son Two makes two, now none makes none It was not so I was not letting go
10.
Birds in the Air, Bugs on the Ground 12:17
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I thought you whispered to me But you looked right through me Windows closing, breeze unbroken Infatuation goes unspoken Open the sails up Straight for empty land The tender hope inside of me Resurfaces as gravestones in the sand Lighten the load please Laughing hysterically I forget everything that came Before we ever did that thing—oh yeah... We've come so far Innocent star You're not forgiven For thinking I wouldn't notice What you did when you decided You were done and now she's hiding it Turn on your phone now Please don't listen to me I once was small but now am broken I'm angry and I'm disappointed, please This isn't a live show Performing with a laugh track Do that shit again, it's funny Do that shit again And again (x7) Sweaty mind, the eyes roll sharply (we've come so far) Buses whizzing through my front yard These window seats are mighty close to The engines that compel us forward Couldn't see the look on your face (innocent star) When you realized you were the one Who couldn't hold himself together I wish I could forget her (we've come so far) I wish I could forget her... // I'm sad And I miss you I know It was not you And I don't know What I've got to do I'm lonely Without you I miss you // And we sat in that brightly lit room And talked until I had to leave I spent the first few months with my back to you But now I could see your face And it was beautiful
11.
Exist Here Forever 03:36
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I want to wait for the sun to go down to Go outside, I want a way to hide The melancholy just suits me better Than if I ever tried to think that it's alright I'm not a poet but I probably think I am I don't get my style—I think that that's alright Fumbling on words that won't materialize I think I've lived my lies—I think that that's alright If I sang you a love song Would that make our distance small? Should I wait or did you move on? Should I ask? Would that be wrong? And if you hear this song Please know that I'm not done So keep your feelings strong And we can start again this fall

about

This entire album was recorded with an unbranded acoustic guitar, a bass cajon, a melodica, and an Audio-Technica AT2020 microphone on Ableton Live 10 Lite over the course of approximately two years in two different bedrooms in Philadelphia.

Written, recorded, mixed, and mastered by Trent Huber.

credits

released August 19, 2023

Thanks to all the friends, family, and loved ones who listened and gave me feedback.
Thanks to the community of musicians in the Philadelphia area who inspired me to make music of my own.
Thanks to my roommates for putting up with my late night disembodied wails over the last two years.
Thanks for listening.

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Wakeful State Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

softly, in a bedroom.

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